My Decision

Yes !! It was really difficult to chose from 'Live or Leave the moment'

It was easy to leave but what if I live this moment ? Will there be any life after this moment ??

Although I was poor developer and a best destructive mind ( from childhood there were many things destroyed ( broken ) by me ).
But as everyone dreams for being a developer when he/she gets into computers , I also had a dream of being developer.And I had an opportunity ( which really was not possible to grab in the recession period ) but I was unable to decide because it was not the one which I had thought of.

I messaged my best friend " I am selected but for testing. What should I do?" he replied in a moment saying " Great! Say Yes" . It was something I was not expecting from him. I tried to get phone number of the placement coordinator. But I could not call her.

Meanwhile people from Spring were calling the selected candidates and were talking to them in a closed room .( I was wondering what are they talking about )

Swati kept on encouraging me and kept on saying that testing is something which I should go for. I was confused ( I was thinking about the myths we usually talk about that ' there is no growth in testing', ' testing is something which people opt for when there is nothing left for them in development because they are dumb', 'Tester sits on the chair and does nothing' and what not. Everything discouraging  a person who is  going to be a tester )

I was thinking "Why did they select me ? "

Mean while they called me in the room, I went in and then .......

They congratulated me formally. My angel asked me to take a seat. He asked me if I want to say something.And I was scared but dared to say " WHY ME  ???" . He kept the paper of mine on desk and said " What do you think , how did you perform???" . ( Yes ! as every one feels after exams... I was feeling the same ' I would have done better if i would have prepared')
" I don't know " I replied and continued " What if I say no ?" ( I was confused and was scared to get into testing ) but he was calm and said " If you say no to us then some one else will pick you up. What is your decision???"

My mind started talking to me ' Do or die .... Why not to give a try to do than dying ? I do not want to die. I want to try. ( My friend's message was something I was playing with in my hand. I opened that and closed that when I was talking to the angel). But all friends will look  at me saying " You opted for testing ? You deserve better ..... better .... better ( echo like films was there in mind) " Do I really deserve development? No .....I cant write a better program ( I hate syntax ....although I know logic I cant present ) I can direct a program but can't write a program. What to do????????? "

" So why should I select you for development ? " a sound bombarded and broke the thought process.

" That is what I am asking.... WHY ME ??? " the conversation turned nice

"You can improve yourself " he said.  " How ? " - me  " By writing programs and practicing them. "

"OK lets try. If you improve then you can switch from testing to development. Lets try. Complete your industrial training in Testing "  he said.

" But isn't there any problem with the grades I get and testing ? " - me

"You confirm with your teachers and let me know. But Swati too is opting for testing and as per my knowledge there isn't any problem with the testing project. So whats your decision? "

"Yes" .. I said .

There were mixed expressions !! And most part of that mixture was fear which came out of my decision and a feeling of ' What if I go wrong ? '

I got up from the chair and walked to the door ......." Rupali... " Angel's voice........ " There are some projects on  Wifi to come in June. We will think about you to work on one of them "  He tried to get me out of tension and make me feel relaxed. ( Wifi was one of my presentation topics which we had discussed for longer time in my interview )  I smiled and said " Thank you Sir ... Thank you very much"

I saw at the devils . They had a pasted smile on their face ( May be due to Copy Paste they were able to Copy angel's smile this time and pasted on their scary faces ) .I felt devils were laughing at me and were thinking ' What is there to select a fool? ' 

And I came out with tension of getting testing as my field, with the thought of the reactions from my friends , with the joy of getting selected , with a decision to call my placement coordinator ( although it was 11.30 at night ) and talk to her regarding what if I say no ?

I had success in hand but I was unable to enjoy !!! It was like I had a medal in Olympics but it was not a gold medal.