After I started writing about baba I really did not know what things more to add in the blog after I am done with adding stories of baba.
The incident list to share with all is unending as me and baba share a nice bond but still somewhere I wanted to add something else.
My stories , my poems ... but something more than that.
And there came my new family in the picture.
The first professional milestone in my life.
A cubical decoration competition brought this side of my life in this blog.
So here I begin with ...........
It was 4th July. ( How can I forget the date when someone felt to select me )
9th July was my elder sister's marriage and I was home for preparations.
Campus interviews were being conducted for Industrial Training those days.
And I was scared of technial stuff as usual.
It was Quickheal which came first and I successfully failed in the test only.
After looking at the paper only I decided not to solve .( because there was nothing which I was able to solve, this is the fact I can say!! )
Only one girl Sunita from my group went for further rounds. ( So I said 'Chill you are not the only one who is poor.All are with you.')
Next came Herbinger where I went in negative marks ( Negative marking exams are something which I always hated coz I rarely got positive marks in a negative marking exam.)
Dad was still having hopes ( I dont know how can he have positive approach always ? but it was there!! )
Even my placement co-ordinator was having hopes from me and she called Herbinger to know where we few students ( whom she was hoping to be in the list and were not even shortlisted for next round) went wrong? After that ...she called us in her Cabin and scolded like anything ( as we all including some top students were having negative marks)
And then came Spring ( with Spring in my life ) !!!
I was not at all prepared this time as I was busy in shopping and wandering with guests , planning for dress and make up in sister's marriage.
My friend called me up and told that some Spring Comuting is coming and if I am interested I should come.
All the way I was not prepared with C++ ( I was always minus minus in C plus plus ) and test paper was expected to be based on C++ ( How would I survive then ?? was the question which I asked her and she forced me to come and attempt for it saying ' You never know what is there for you and you are coming that's it )
There was a unform suit for interviews. Which was somewhere in the laundry bag and was not even ironed.
I called up my roomate ( one more savior of mine after my sisters )
I asked her to wash my clothes and then I got ready to leave Nagar for interview.
My roommate got everything ready for me. I reached Pune at 7 in the evening and opened my books ( I was very tired so I slept immediately after I opened my book. )
And then .....
It was the Morning of 4th July.......
Monday, December 28, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
BABA - V ( A leeson with no punishment )
This is the story when dad first time got angry with me.
It means when dad first time expressed his anger and punished me.
I do not recall my age when this happened. But I do recall the punishment.
It was untold rule in the house that we ( the children ) should be home at or before 7 pm. Then divelagan ( ligting the lamps before god) and then we used to chant Ramraksha and some mantras taught in school.
After all this we used to have dinner and sit for studies.
I usually followed this. ( or else i at least used to manage to finish playing and come back home, before dad comes home ) .
It was the day when dad came early. ( I was unaware of dad being home so early ). Usually dad used to come home at 8.30 and or later.
I was playing on the ground and the game became so interesting that I forgot the deadlines. My sister kept on calling me again and again and I kept on replying " thamb na ga didi , sagale khelat ahet " . Didi was not allowed to tell that dad is home and dad wanted to see what do I do.
I was unaware of this background scene and kept on plying and shouting loudly. We were the only family whos kids were studying in Marathi medium schools and all the Convent kids were done with their exams and playing. I was the girl who was having the exams ( I guess geography paper ) on Monday and I was enjoying games on Saturday eve.
That was the last call from didi for me coming home and study and then it was BABA's voice saying " Rupsha gharat yetes ka me yeu ?? "
" Ohh my god !!! BABA is home !! " that was my reaction and rushed to home.
BABA was standing in the door and did not allow me enter.
He asked me to stand outside and not to enter house.
BABA : Abhays zalay ?
Me : Nahi Ajun chalu nahi kele vachayala.
BABA : Ramraksha mhanalis ka aaj ??
Me : Nahi !! Ata mhanate na
BABA : Mag tula kay shiksha karayachi ??
Me : ( About to act as if I am crying ) Sorry BABA .Parat nahi ase karnar. Sagale khelat hote mhanun me pan...
BABA : Saglyanchi pariksha sampali ahe na ???
Me : Nahi tya ti hi ahe na tichi pan....
BABA : Ata gharat yayache nahi ahe , gharat yenyachi vel 7 ahe ani ata 8.45 zalet. Tuzi shiksh tu baherach ubhe rahayches.
Me : Pan ......
mean while BABA had closed the door.
I was shameless and helpless as well. Stood outside ( with a confidence that the godesses inside, my sisters are my saviors and they will manage to convince BABA)
Nothing happened according to my assumptions. After half an hour BABA opened the door
He said " Ata mich shiksh karun gheto me jevat nahi . Aat ya ani jeva ani abhyasala basa "
I had my dinner he did not. I still don't know whether he had his dinner on that night or not.
But yes that was his another way to convey his anger and I learned......
I got late manier times but I tried my best not to skip evening chants and my studies for games.
That was the reason we three sisters still follow Sanskar of not sleeping in the eve ( Divelaganila zopu naye , radu naye) .
The Sanskars which I made follow me roommate as well .
I used to wake her up saying " Uth ja 7 baj gaye Laxmi aane ka time ho gaya "
She used to get irritated and used to say " Laxmi koi train hai jo 7 bajehi aati hai " but she too followed the rules made by me.
This was the way BABA taught which a mother teaches her daughters .
We learned.....................
It means when dad first time expressed his anger and punished me.
I do not recall my age when this happened. But I do recall the punishment.
It was untold rule in the house that we ( the children ) should be home at or before 7 pm. Then divelagan ( ligting the lamps before god) and then we used to chant Ramraksha and some mantras taught in school.
After all this we used to have dinner and sit for studies.
I usually followed this. ( or else i at least used to manage to finish playing and come back home, before dad comes home ) .
It was the day when dad came early. ( I was unaware of dad being home so early ). Usually dad used to come home at 8.30 and or later.
I was playing on the ground and the game became so interesting that I forgot the deadlines. My sister kept on calling me again and again and I kept on replying " thamb na ga didi , sagale khelat ahet " . Didi was not allowed to tell that dad is home and dad wanted to see what do I do.
I was unaware of this background scene and kept on plying and shouting loudly. We were the only family whos kids were studying in Marathi medium schools and all the Convent kids were done with their exams and playing. I was the girl who was having the exams ( I guess geography paper ) on Monday and I was enjoying games on Saturday eve.
That was the last call from didi for me coming home and study and then it was BABA's voice saying " Rupsha gharat yetes ka me yeu ?? "
" Ohh my god !!! BABA is home !! " that was my reaction and rushed to home.
BABA was standing in the door and did not allow me enter.
He asked me to stand outside and not to enter house.
BABA : Abhays zalay ?
Me : Nahi Ajun chalu nahi kele vachayala.
BABA : Ramraksha mhanalis ka aaj ??
Me : Nahi !! Ata mhanate na
BABA : Mag tula kay shiksha karayachi ??
Me : ( About to act as if I am crying ) Sorry BABA .Parat nahi ase karnar. Sagale khelat hote mhanun me pan...
BABA : Saglyanchi pariksha sampali ahe na ???
Me : Nahi tya ti hi ahe na tichi pan....
BABA : Ata gharat yayache nahi ahe , gharat yenyachi vel 7 ahe ani ata 8.45 zalet. Tuzi shiksh tu baherach ubhe rahayches.
Me : Pan ......
mean while BABA had closed the door.
I was shameless and helpless as well. Stood outside ( with a confidence that the godesses inside, my sisters are my saviors and they will manage to convince BABA)
Nothing happened according to my assumptions. After half an hour BABA opened the door
He said " Ata mich shiksh karun gheto me jevat nahi . Aat ya ani jeva ani abhyasala basa "
I had my dinner he did not. I still don't know whether he had his dinner on that night or not.
But yes that was his another way to convey his anger and I learned......
I got late manier times but I tried my best not to skip evening chants and my studies for games.
That was the reason we three sisters still follow Sanskar of not sleeping in the eve ( Divelaganila zopu naye , radu naye) .
The Sanskars which I made follow me roommate as well .
I used to wake her up saying " Uth ja 7 baj gaye Laxmi aane ka time ho gaya "
She used to get irritated and used to say " Laxmi koi train hai jo 7 bajehi aati hai " but she too followed the rules made by me.
This was the way BABA taught which a mother teaches her daughters .
We learned.....................
Thanks for the mails
These are the mails received by all those who were unable to submit the comments due to technical errors. These mails were sent to my sister and then she forwarded them to me. Thanking you all for such nice remarks.....
Read few of them…well……….she really writes well in English & good in Marathi…
Regards,
Sheetal.
Lupa's blog is tooooo gud.....
m touched.....
she is gng gud....
god bless her...tc
Rucha
Mi kay lihu mala suchat nahiye,
Khup chaan lihila ahe sagala, agadi manacha vedh achuk ani arapar ghenara.
Ani jyanna kharya arthane man ahe tyannach he samaju shakata.
Khup uttam Sanskar ahet tumha bahinnivar.
Ani tumache baba greatach ahet, really appriciate kelach pahije…
Itaka sopa nahiye, na khachata he sagala pelana.
Kind Regards,
Siddharth Kulkarni
Pharach sunder lekh aahet. Baba I tar khuupach touchy ahe. 3- 4 vela dole pusayla lagale to lekh vachayala.
Ashwini
Hi Arti,
Me Rupa che blogs vachle sagle....Kupach sahi lihile aahe tine te shabdat vyakt karnyasarkhe nahiye.....
Me tila reply pan kela aahe......kharach khup chan lihite ti... aahe tar tujhich bahin na..agdi tujhya sarkhi..
Best Regards,
Jayshree Lakkad
Review from my daughter Neha
These are a few short stories written by a daughter about her "Baba" (Father) ,The stories are nothing but her memories of her dear father , These memories take you back to your own childhood days,and memories with your father. Mostly people talk about the Mothers there loves , sacrifices and their devotions to their work but forget that "Father" is equally important person in each of our lives,He is the one who protects, loves as well as nurture us like the way a Mother does,
A must read article ! especially the poem ..
Regards,
Dilip Apastamb
Very nice………….
Best Regards,
Vinayak S. Basugade
Aker Solutions™
Read few of them…well……….she really writes well in English & good in Marathi…
Regards,
Sheetal.
Lupa's blog is tooooo gud.....
m touched.....
she is gng gud....
god bless her...tc
Rucha
Mi kay lihu mala suchat nahiye,
Khup chaan lihila ahe sagala, agadi manacha vedh achuk ani arapar ghenara.
Ani jyanna kharya arthane man ahe tyannach he samaju shakata.
Khup uttam Sanskar ahet tumha bahinnivar.
Ani tumache baba greatach ahet, really appriciate kelach pahije…
Itaka sopa nahiye, na khachata he sagala pelana.
Kind Regards,
Siddharth Kulkarni
Pharach sunder lekh aahet. Baba I tar khuupach touchy ahe. 3- 4 vela dole pusayla lagale to lekh vachayala.
Ashwini
Hi Arti,
Me Rupa che blogs vachle sagle....Kupach sahi lihile aahe tine te shabdat vyakt karnyasarkhe nahiye.....
Me tila reply pan kela aahe......kharach khup chan lihite ti... aahe tar tujhich bahin na..agdi tujhya sarkhi..
Best Regards,
Jayshree Lakkad
Review from my daughter Neha
These are a few short stories written by a daughter about her "Baba" (Father) ,The stories are nothing but her memories of her dear father , These memories take you back to your own childhood days,and memories with your father. Mostly people talk about the Mothers there loves , sacrifices and their devotions to their work but forget that "Father" is equally important person in each of our lives,He is the one who protects, loves as well as nurture us like the way a Mother does,
A must read article ! especially the poem ..
Regards,
Dilip Apastamb
Very nice………….
Best Regards,
Vinayak S. Basugade
Aker Solutions™
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
A good para shared by my friend......
Anushree is HR in my office and shared something really good through her mail. Adding this on my blog. Thanks Anushree!!!!
Don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
"Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die. ……………….
One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? …………….
It's ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, fall in love, little fights with your spouse. We are people, not programmed devices..... ...." :)
- Chetan Bhagat
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
"Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die. ……………….
One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? …………….
It's ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, fall in love, little fights with your spouse. We are people, not programmed devices..... ...." :)
- Chetan Bhagat
Monday, December 7, 2009
मनातल्या मनात !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
रोज सकाळी १० ची बस पकडायला धावत सुटणे आणि मग बस मिळेपर्यंत स्वतःशी गुज करणे हा माझा नित्यक्रम आहे . माझ्यासारख्या पस्तिशीतल्या बाईचा जो विचारांचा गुंता असावा तोच असतो मनातल्या मनात चालणाऱ्या गप्पांचा विषय . पण गेले काही दिवस माझ्या मनात द्वंद्व सुरु आहे . विचारांचेच !!! आणि तोच माझ्या मनोरंजनाचा भाग आहे .
मी आपली शिफॉन साडी नेसून , केस कसेबसे गुंडाळून आणि गेल्या १० वर्षात सुडौल पासून बेडौल बनण्यात यशस्वी झालेली , गबाळी बाई !! अशात Stop वर मला एखादी सुंदर मुलगी दिसली तर की व्हावे ?? त्यातच त्या सुंदर मुलीचे प्रेमप्रकरण असेल तर ...... अर्थातच माझे मनोरंजन !!!!
नवऱ्याशी भांडून बाहेर पडले तोच दिवस... जेव्हा ती पहिल्यांदा भेटली ... म्हणजे दिसली ..........
पांढरा शुभ्र ड्रेस , लांबसडक केस , बोटे तर अगदी रेखीव , नखांवर आणि गालांवर गुलाबी रंगाचा शिडकावा ..... दात तर अगदी मोत्यांसारखे ... केवढी सुंदर आहे ती....
' नर्मदा मावशीच्या गौरव ला शोभेल नाही ??' मनातला एक विचार ... ' जातीतली आहे का ??' त्या विचाराला उत्तर !
इतक्यात तो आला ... ' कसला स्मार्ट आहे .... software वाला असेल ... छ्या !!! software वाला बस ने कशाला कडमडेल ??? ' ...' कुठे का कामाला असेना हिला शोभेल नं??? नाहीतर आमच्या वाटयाला कसले ध्यान आले आहे ................'
' अरे अरे हे काय ? त्यांची तर नजरानजर पण सुरु झाली आहे . आणि मी कसला शोभण्याचा विचार करत बसले आहे ? '
ती दोघं एकमेकांकडे पाहत होती ..... ' अरेच्चा हसली की ... हम्म !!! हंसी तो फसी ... पण पहिल्याच भेटीत ??? Love at first sight ??? '
इतक्यात बस आली आणि ती एकात मी आणि तो दुसऱ्या बस मध्ये चढलो .
दुसऱ्या दिवशी stop वर नवीनच प्रकार पाह्यला मिळाला . तो आला ..... मी होतेच ... ती पण आली .. ' हे काय पाहतेय मी ??? day २ लाच ?? ' बाईनी चढताना एक कागदाचा बोळा टाकला आणि याने उचलला ?? ' फारच forward बाई हे प्रकरण !! आशु ला ( माझी लेक वय वर्षे ८ ) सांभाळायला पाहिजे !! जमाना कसला खराब आहे बाई आत्ताच !!! राम राम राम ..... '
त्या दिवशी पण तो आणि मी एकाच बस मध्ये !!! ' काय असेल त्या कागदावर ?? भेटायची जागा ?? छे .... जागा नसेल तर मग काय ??? प्रेमपत्र ??? ह्यांनी लग्न ठरल्यावर लिहिलेले तसे ???? इश्श !!! कित्ती छान लिहिलेले !!! अजून आठवले तरी गुदगुल्या होतात मला !!! डोकावून पाहू का ??? छे !! दिसत पण नाही आहे !! लांबचा चष्मा !!! चाळीशीच्या आत दुखणी आलीत !! ' काल त्याचा आणि माझा उतरण्याचा stop वेगळा होता आणि आज तर तो माझ्याच stop वर उतरला.
'आणि हे काय पाहतेय मी ???' त्याने एका सुंदर मुलीला उतरल्या उतरल्या हात केला . ' ऑफिस मधली असेल !! नाहीतर काय मी आणि कुलकर्णी नाही का जात कधी कधी एकत्र stop वर ? मला वाटतं बाई त्या कुलकर्णीना मी जाम आवडते , पण त्यांना उशीर झाला आणि माझे लग्न झाले !! पस्तिशीत पण maintained आहे मी ! थोडीशी जाडी वाढली आहे एवढंच !! '
इतक्यात........ ' हे काय बाई नवीन ???' त्या दोघांनी एकमेकांचे हात धरून चालायला सुरुवात केलेली . ' काय बाई हा माणूस आहे ? पत्र एकीकडून आणि मिठी दुसरीला ?? पुरुष असतातच असले !! कुलकर्णी नाही का .... त्या जोशी बाईंकडे पाहून हसतात आणि फिरायला मी !!! पण हे प्रकरण जरा भलतेच forward आहे आणि fast पण !! काल ती पोरगी दिसतेय म्हणेपर्यंत इकडे हातात हात ? ' विचार करता करता मी ऑफिस च्या दारात !!
हा प्रकार , हे चक्र गेले ६ महिने चालत आहे ! हम्म आता चिट्ठी ऐवजी ती कधी फुले देते , कधी रंगीत कागदात गुंडाळलेले गिफ्ट देते , कधी chocolate देते आणि हा माणूस ते उतरल्यावर त्या stop वाली ला देतो ' stop वाल्याच दोघी !! पण ती stop वाली आणि हि ? हि सुंदरा !! सांगावे का तिला हा माणूस काय लायकीचा माणूस आहे ते ? की यालाच थोबाडात ठेवून द्यावी आणि म्हणावे काय चालले आहे म्हणून ? माणूस आहे की सैतान ? २ - २ पोरी फिरवतो , लाज नाही वाटत ? बरे दुसरी पण देखणी आहे ! आणि जरा जास्तच हुशार आहे !! याच्याकडून लुटते सगळे !! आणि हिच्या नशिबात काय ? काही नाही !! नुसतच देत राहणे आणि हा निर्लज्ज घेत राहतो !!! " तू आहेस म्हणून आहे सगळे नाहीतर काय ? कसे जमवले असते " हे ठेवणीतले वाक्य !!! '
रोजचे हे विचारचक्र थांबतच नव्हते. काही तरी करायलाच हवे . पण कसे ते काळात नव्हते . ' आज ती एकटीच आहे . तो दिसत नाही . हीच संधी साधते ' मी स्वतःशी बोलत बोलत तिच्यापाशी जाऊन पोहोचले . इतक्यात तिची बस आणि हा गुंडा आले !! ' छे मनात बोलण्यात फार वेळ गेला. आता उदयाला ..... '
मी आणि तो नेहमीप्रमाणे एकाच बस मध्ये 'हा माझ्याकडे पाहून का हसतोय ? म्हणेल तिला नका सांगू. पण मी नाही ऐकणारे काही त्याचे' .....
पुन्हा आज तोच प्रकार stop वाली आणि हा ......................
दुसऱ्या दिवशी मी जरा लवकरच निघाले. ही आली की बोलू असे ठरवूनच !!! पण हे काय ??? आज हे दोघे आलेच नाहीत. पुढचे १५ - २० दिवस आले नाहीत दोघे !! ' पळून गेले असतील ... किंवा शिफ्ट ?? दोघे एकदम कसे शिफ्ट होतील ??? '
हळू हळू त्यांच्या नसण्याची सवय होते आहे म्हणेपर्यंत हे काय पाहतेय मी आज ???? ' त्या दोघी आणि हा गुंड एकत्र ??? आणि हे काय ??? stop वाली च्या गळ्यात मंगळसूत्र ???? '
इतक्यात सुंदराचा आवाज " जिजाजी आता तरी पोस्टमन ला दिवाळी द्या !! आणि ताई ते सगळे chocolates , गिफ्ट्स मीच आणायचे ह्म्म्म !!! पैसे तेवढे जीजुचे !!! का ssssssssssss य जीजू ???? मला काय मिळणार आता ??? "
" तुला ती १३ लाखाची गाडी ...... " तो म्हणाला
हा संवाद ऐकून मला भोवळच आली !!! इतक्यात आलेल्या बस मध्ये बसून सुंदरा गेली पण !!! आणि हे जोडपे बस ची वाट पाहत उभे राहिले !!!
' एकाच area मध्ये राहत असतील !! कसे पडले प्रेमात ??? काय असायचे पत्रात ?? आणि मग हि चिठ्ठ्या टाकून का द्यायची ??? हातात का नाही ??? घरातले कोणी पाहिलं तर ..... ची भीती असेल ???? आणि ??????????? ' ' पुरे !!!! ' माझ्या दुसऱ्या मनाचा दरडावून सांगणारा आवाज ..... 'आता तरी शहाण्या व्हा बाई '
इतक्यात बस आली आणि माझा प्रवास सुरु झाला त्या दोघांसोबत आणि नवीन विचारांसोबत ......
' भाजी काय करूयात आज ??? जाताना नेते ....... "
मी आपली शिफॉन साडी नेसून , केस कसेबसे गुंडाळून आणि गेल्या १० वर्षात सुडौल पासून बेडौल बनण्यात यशस्वी झालेली , गबाळी बाई !! अशात Stop वर मला एखादी सुंदर मुलगी दिसली तर की व्हावे ?? त्यातच त्या सुंदर मुलीचे प्रेमप्रकरण असेल तर ...... अर्थातच माझे मनोरंजन !!!!
नवऱ्याशी भांडून बाहेर पडले तोच दिवस... जेव्हा ती पहिल्यांदा भेटली ... म्हणजे दिसली ..........
पांढरा शुभ्र ड्रेस , लांबसडक केस , बोटे तर अगदी रेखीव , नखांवर आणि गालांवर गुलाबी रंगाचा शिडकावा ..... दात तर अगदी मोत्यांसारखे ... केवढी सुंदर आहे ती....
' नर्मदा मावशीच्या गौरव ला शोभेल नाही ??' मनातला एक विचार ... ' जातीतली आहे का ??' त्या विचाराला उत्तर !
इतक्यात तो आला ... ' कसला स्मार्ट आहे .... software वाला असेल ... छ्या !!! software वाला बस ने कशाला कडमडेल ??? ' ...' कुठे का कामाला असेना हिला शोभेल नं??? नाहीतर आमच्या वाटयाला कसले ध्यान आले आहे ................'
' अरे अरे हे काय ? त्यांची तर नजरानजर पण सुरु झाली आहे . आणि मी कसला शोभण्याचा विचार करत बसले आहे ? '
ती दोघं एकमेकांकडे पाहत होती ..... ' अरेच्चा हसली की ... हम्म !!! हंसी तो फसी ... पण पहिल्याच भेटीत ??? Love at first sight ??? '
इतक्यात बस आली आणि ती एकात मी आणि तो दुसऱ्या बस मध्ये चढलो .
दुसऱ्या दिवशी stop वर नवीनच प्रकार पाह्यला मिळाला . तो आला ..... मी होतेच ... ती पण आली .. ' हे काय पाहतेय मी ??? day २ लाच ?? ' बाईनी चढताना एक कागदाचा बोळा टाकला आणि याने उचलला ?? ' फारच forward बाई हे प्रकरण !! आशु ला ( माझी लेक वय वर्षे ८ ) सांभाळायला पाहिजे !! जमाना कसला खराब आहे बाई आत्ताच !!! राम राम राम ..... '
त्या दिवशी पण तो आणि मी एकाच बस मध्ये !!! ' काय असेल त्या कागदावर ?? भेटायची जागा ?? छे .... जागा नसेल तर मग काय ??? प्रेमपत्र ??? ह्यांनी लग्न ठरल्यावर लिहिलेले तसे ???? इश्श !!! कित्ती छान लिहिलेले !!! अजून आठवले तरी गुदगुल्या होतात मला !!! डोकावून पाहू का ??? छे !! दिसत पण नाही आहे !! लांबचा चष्मा !!! चाळीशीच्या आत दुखणी आलीत !! ' काल त्याचा आणि माझा उतरण्याचा stop वेगळा होता आणि आज तर तो माझ्याच stop वर उतरला.
'आणि हे काय पाहतेय मी ???' त्याने एका सुंदर मुलीला उतरल्या उतरल्या हात केला . ' ऑफिस मधली असेल !! नाहीतर काय मी आणि कुलकर्णी नाही का जात कधी कधी एकत्र stop वर ? मला वाटतं बाई त्या कुलकर्णीना मी जाम आवडते , पण त्यांना उशीर झाला आणि माझे लग्न झाले !! पस्तिशीत पण maintained आहे मी ! थोडीशी जाडी वाढली आहे एवढंच !! '
इतक्यात........ ' हे काय बाई नवीन ???' त्या दोघांनी एकमेकांचे हात धरून चालायला सुरुवात केलेली . ' काय बाई हा माणूस आहे ? पत्र एकीकडून आणि मिठी दुसरीला ?? पुरुष असतातच असले !! कुलकर्णी नाही का .... त्या जोशी बाईंकडे पाहून हसतात आणि फिरायला मी !!! पण हे प्रकरण जरा भलतेच forward आहे आणि fast पण !! काल ती पोरगी दिसतेय म्हणेपर्यंत इकडे हातात हात ? ' विचार करता करता मी ऑफिस च्या दारात !!
हा प्रकार , हे चक्र गेले ६ महिने चालत आहे ! हम्म आता चिट्ठी ऐवजी ती कधी फुले देते , कधी रंगीत कागदात गुंडाळलेले गिफ्ट देते , कधी chocolate देते आणि हा माणूस ते उतरल्यावर त्या stop वाली ला देतो ' stop वाल्याच दोघी !! पण ती stop वाली आणि हि ? हि सुंदरा !! सांगावे का तिला हा माणूस काय लायकीचा माणूस आहे ते ? की यालाच थोबाडात ठेवून द्यावी आणि म्हणावे काय चालले आहे म्हणून ? माणूस आहे की सैतान ? २ - २ पोरी फिरवतो , लाज नाही वाटत ? बरे दुसरी पण देखणी आहे ! आणि जरा जास्तच हुशार आहे !! याच्याकडून लुटते सगळे !! आणि हिच्या नशिबात काय ? काही नाही !! नुसतच देत राहणे आणि हा निर्लज्ज घेत राहतो !!! " तू आहेस म्हणून आहे सगळे नाहीतर काय ? कसे जमवले असते " हे ठेवणीतले वाक्य !!! '
रोजचे हे विचारचक्र थांबतच नव्हते. काही तरी करायलाच हवे . पण कसे ते काळात नव्हते . ' आज ती एकटीच आहे . तो दिसत नाही . हीच संधी साधते ' मी स्वतःशी बोलत बोलत तिच्यापाशी जाऊन पोहोचले . इतक्यात तिची बस आणि हा गुंडा आले !! ' छे मनात बोलण्यात फार वेळ गेला. आता उदयाला ..... '
मी आणि तो नेहमीप्रमाणे एकाच बस मध्ये 'हा माझ्याकडे पाहून का हसतोय ? म्हणेल तिला नका सांगू. पण मी नाही ऐकणारे काही त्याचे' .....
पुन्हा आज तोच प्रकार stop वाली आणि हा ......................
दुसऱ्या दिवशी मी जरा लवकरच निघाले. ही आली की बोलू असे ठरवूनच !!! पण हे काय ??? आज हे दोघे आलेच नाहीत. पुढचे १५ - २० दिवस आले नाहीत दोघे !! ' पळून गेले असतील ... किंवा शिफ्ट ?? दोघे एकदम कसे शिफ्ट होतील ??? '
हळू हळू त्यांच्या नसण्याची सवय होते आहे म्हणेपर्यंत हे काय पाहतेय मी आज ???? ' त्या दोघी आणि हा गुंड एकत्र ??? आणि हे काय ??? stop वाली च्या गळ्यात मंगळसूत्र ???? '
इतक्यात सुंदराचा आवाज " जिजाजी आता तरी पोस्टमन ला दिवाळी द्या !! आणि ताई ते सगळे chocolates , गिफ्ट्स मीच आणायचे ह्म्म्म !!! पैसे तेवढे जीजुचे !!! का ssssssssssss य जीजू ???? मला काय मिळणार आता ??? "
" तुला ती १३ लाखाची गाडी ...... " तो म्हणाला
हा संवाद ऐकून मला भोवळच आली !!! इतक्यात आलेल्या बस मध्ये बसून सुंदरा गेली पण !!! आणि हे जोडपे बस ची वाट पाहत उभे राहिले !!!
' एकाच area मध्ये राहत असतील !! कसे पडले प्रेमात ??? काय असायचे पत्रात ?? आणि मग हि चिठ्ठ्या टाकून का द्यायची ??? हातात का नाही ??? घरातले कोणी पाहिलं तर ..... ची भीती असेल ???? आणि ??????????? ' ' पुरे !!!! ' माझ्या दुसऱ्या मनाचा दरडावून सांगणारा आवाज ..... 'आता तरी शहाण्या व्हा बाई '
इतक्यात बस आली आणि माझा प्रवास सुरु झाला त्या दोघांसोबत आणि नवीन विचारांसोबत ......
' भाजी काय करूयात आज ??? जाताना नेते ....... "
Friday, December 4, 2009
संन्यासाश्रम
आज मी निवृत्त झालो ......................
बायको अजुनही कामातच असते . तिच्या नोकरीचे रहाटगाडगे अजुन चालू आहेच ...
अजुन तिची निवृत्ति नाही , अगदी रजोनिवृत्ति नंतर देखिल तिच्या यातना संपलेल्या नाहीत ....
ह्म्म्म आता माझ्या संन्यासाश्रमाला सुरुवात !!!!
असते का असे काही माणसाच्या आयुष्यात ???
संन्याश्याला कधीच भोगावादाची स्वप्न पडत नसतील का ????
सर्वसंन्गपरित्याग कोणी कधी सर्वांगाने केला आहे का ???
नसेलच !!!! नाहीतर मेनका कधी जिंकू शकली नसती. माया आणि मोह यातून सुटका चितेवरच होत असावी!!!
आज पहिल्यांदाच वाटते आहे की खुप पोकळी आली आहे !!! पोकळी इतकी मोठी पण असू शकते असे आजच जाणवत आहे किंवा माझ्या नोकरीने माझ्या आयुष्यात इतकी जागा व्यापलेली की आता जाणीव होण्याइतके रिकामेपण आले आहे.
काय बरे छंद होते मला तरुण असताना ?? डोंगर चढायला जायचो मी. छे !! आता तर जीना पण नही चढवत.
घरातल्या झोपण्याच्या खोलीतले हे पुस्तकांचे कपाट मी आजच उघडतो आहे . आठवते मला तिचे प्रदर्शनात जाणे आणि १०% सूट मिळावी म्हणून धडपड करणे. शनिवारच्या एखाद्या दुपारी मांडलेला रद्दीचा ढीग अजुन तस्सा आठवतोय!! चाळले पाहिजे होते एकदा तरी व.पु. , पु.ल.!!! पण कामातून सवड नव्हती तेव्हा !!
घरासभोवती बागेत हिने किती सुन्दर फुले लावलेली आहेत. आजच ती सुन्दर वाटत आहेत . नाहीतर देवपुजेच्या वेळी परडी मधेच पाहिले मी त्यांना !!! हा फुलांचा वेल आम्हीच आणलेला !!! किती बहर आला आहे त्याला आता !
तिने कसे काय जमवून आणले आहे हे सगळे ? लोन आणि सेविंग्स शिवाय कसलीच गणिते नाही केली मी कधी ! आणि तिने मात्र हसत हसत सगळे कसे चोख बजावले आहे .
बैठकीची खोली !!! हा पडदा घेताना कित्ती वेळ लावला होता तिने !!! पण त्याने किती शोभा आली आहे या खोलीला !!!
कधीही तक्रार नाही ऐकली मी मुलांची आणि मुले मोठी पण झाली !!! त्या पाखरांना पंख फुटत होते तेव्हा मी मात्र उडून अमेरिकेला गेलो. परत आलो तर ती पाखरे आपापल्या दिशेला उडून गेलेली.
हिची अर्ध्या दिवसाची शाळा !! शाळेत मुलांचे नाच बसवता बसवता, घरात किती ठिकाणी नाचावे लागले तिला हे आत्ता समजले.
वेळच्या वेळी चहा पासून पाहुणे आले गेले सगळे कसे केले तिने ???
झोपण्याची खोली !!! इथे पण कधी माझा उत्साह कमी नाही होऊ दिला तिने !!! तिचे सळसळ करणारे केस आठवले तरी " अभी तो में जवान हु " असे वाटायला लागले आहे .
एकेका खोलीला तिने दिलेले अस्तित्व आजच समजते आहे मला .
पण आता आमचा संन्यासाश्रम सुरु होणार !!!
" अहो दारात का उभे ?? जा जाऊंन पड़ा तरी मी आलेच चहा घेउन !! सुट्टीचा पहिलाच दिवस रटाळ गेलेला दिसतोय !! " तिचा आवाज ...............................
पुन्हा पोकळी भरून निघाली. ही पोकळी मला कधीच जाणवू देणार नाही आयुष्यात !!!! तिचे नाजुक हास्य , माझ्या आसमंताला पुरून उरते !!!
" ऐकतेस ??????? बस ना जरा वेळ जवळ ....... "
" इश्श !!! अहो वय काय तुमचे ??? " खुदकन हसताना तिचा लालेलाल झालेला चेहरा !!!! आणि आणि मला झालेली तिच्यातल्या प्रेयसीची जाणीव !!!!
संन्यासाश्रम नसतोच मुळी !!!!
मेनका आहे तोवर संन्यासाश्रम नाही !!! आणि तीच जिंकणार !!!
मी संन्यास आत्ता तरी नाही घेत !!!!
बायको अजुनही कामातच असते . तिच्या नोकरीचे रहाटगाडगे अजुन चालू आहेच ...
अजुन तिची निवृत्ति नाही , अगदी रजोनिवृत्ति नंतर देखिल तिच्या यातना संपलेल्या नाहीत ....
ह्म्म्म आता माझ्या संन्यासाश्रमाला सुरुवात !!!!
असते का असे काही माणसाच्या आयुष्यात ???
संन्याश्याला कधीच भोगावादाची स्वप्न पडत नसतील का ????
सर्वसंन्गपरित्याग कोणी कधी सर्वांगाने केला आहे का ???
नसेलच !!!! नाहीतर मेनका कधी जिंकू शकली नसती. माया आणि मोह यातून सुटका चितेवरच होत असावी!!!
आज पहिल्यांदाच वाटते आहे की खुप पोकळी आली आहे !!! पोकळी इतकी मोठी पण असू शकते असे आजच जाणवत आहे किंवा माझ्या नोकरीने माझ्या आयुष्यात इतकी जागा व्यापलेली की आता जाणीव होण्याइतके रिकामेपण आले आहे.
काय बरे छंद होते मला तरुण असताना ?? डोंगर चढायला जायचो मी. छे !! आता तर जीना पण नही चढवत.
घरातल्या झोपण्याच्या खोलीतले हे पुस्तकांचे कपाट मी आजच उघडतो आहे . आठवते मला तिचे प्रदर्शनात जाणे आणि १०% सूट मिळावी म्हणून धडपड करणे. शनिवारच्या एखाद्या दुपारी मांडलेला रद्दीचा ढीग अजुन तस्सा आठवतोय!! चाळले पाहिजे होते एकदा तरी व.पु. , पु.ल.!!! पण कामातून सवड नव्हती तेव्हा !!
घरासभोवती बागेत हिने किती सुन्दर फुले लावलेली आहेत. आजच ती सुन्दर वाटत आहेत . नाहीतर देवपुजेच्या वेळी परडी मधेच पाहिले मी त्यांना !!! हा फुलांचा वेल आम्हीच आणलेला !!! किती बहर आला आहे त्याला आता !
तिने कसे काय जमवून आणले आहे हे सगळे ? लोन आणि सेविंग्स शिवाय कसलीच गणिते नाही केली मी कधी ! आणि तिने मात्र हसत हसत सगळे कसे चोख बजावले आहे .
बैठकीची खोली !!! हा पडदा घेताना कित्ती वेळ लावला होता तिने !!! पण त्याने किती शोभा आली आहे या खोलीला !!!
कधीही तक्रार नाही ऐकली मी मुलांची आणि मुले मोठी पण झाली !!! त्या पाखरांना पंख फुटत होते तेव्हा मी मात्र उडून अमेरिकेला गेलो. परत आलो तर ती पाखरे आपापल्या दिशेला उडून गेलेली.
हिची अर्ध्या दिवसाची शाळा !! शाळेत मुलांचे नाच बसवता बसवता, घरात किती ठिकाणी नाचावे लागले तिला हे आत्ता समजले.
वेळच्या वेळी चहा पासून पाहुणे आले गेले सगळे कसे केले तिने ???
झोपण्याची खोली !!! इथे पण कधी माझा उत्साह कमी नाही होऊ दिला तिने !!! तिचे सळसळ करणारे केस आठवले तरी " अभी तो में जवान हु " असे वाटायला लागले आहे .
एकेका खोलीला तिने दिलेले अस्तित्व आजच समजते आहे मला .
पण आता आमचा संन्यासाश्रम सुरु होणार !!!
" अहो दारात का उभे ?? जा जाऊंन पड़ा तरी मी आलेच चहा घेउन !! सुट्टीचा पहिलाच दिवस रटाळ गेलेला दिसतोय !! " तिचा आवाज ...............................
पुन्हा पोकळी भरून निघाली. ही पोकळी मला कधीच जाणवू देणार नाही आयुष्यात !!!! तिचे नाजुक हास्य , माझ्या आसमंताला पुरून उरते !!!
" ऐकतेस ??????? बस ना जरा वेळ जवळ ....... "
" इश्श !!! अहो वय काय तुमचे ??? " खुदकन हसताना तिचा लालेलाल झालेला चेहरा !!!! आणि आणि मला झालेली तिच्यातल्या प्रेयसीची जाणीव !!!!
संन्यासाश्रम नसतोच मुळी !!!!
मेनका आहे तोवर संन्यासाश्रम नाही !!! आणि तीच जिंकणार !!!
मी संन्यास आत्ता तरी नाही घेत !!!!
BABA - IV ( And his big family )
Baba is kind of a friendly person and always wanted a son. He is a nice father. Regardless of his desire to have a son he showers his love upon all the three daughters of him i.e. we three sisters. Having a son was his desire in his early ages. This is a story about ..........
It was Diwali time and we all were cleaning house together. Ohh!!! that was something I always hated and baba always wanted me to learn. Thank god I have my elder sisters playing role of savior in every trouble of mine.
Cleaning time was the biggest trouble. Cleaning house was not at all my part of interest.
I recall my school teacher complaining my sister that I was laziest girl she had ever seen. And truly I was rather I am lazy regarding many things.
There were 3 trunks in the house. Those were army trunks heavy and big in size. Trunks were dumping zones of house. One of them was for old sweaters and old clothes, one was certificate bag containing old certificates and one was for old letters, unwanted papers and what not.
I was cleaning the trunk of old letters. Those were letters in Kannada so baba was not worried about what if I read them. I was trying to read sender’s name and receiver’s name from the letters as that was the only data in English. Receiver of every letter was no one else than Baba. And senders were my uncles, grandfather, and most of our relatives, my mother, and baba’s friends.
I found the only letter written in Marathi. This letter was written by Baba but it was not posted. It was dated 5th December 1982 that is next day of my sister’s birth. It was addressed to baba’s uncle. Content was strange. It was saying “God again gave me one more daughter. I really don’t know when the cycle will end .and so on…. “Data was surprising. He was not happy to have daughter and that to the daughter whom he loves a lot. The girl who is heart of baba.
I gave the letter to my sister. She saw the letter. And went in the hall. Baba was busy cleaning the cupboards. She just gave that to him and asked him to read the letter.
He sat in the chair in his typical style and then read the letter. He laughed but my sister was angry that he wrote the letter after she was born.
He smiled at her and said “Now I regret for writing this. Don’t pay attention to this. I love you a lot. I did not know you are going to be my son.”
That was a small incident. Reader will think what is so special about this. Baba always loved us. We all love him. But I feel bad and feel truly that he should have had a son. Now we three are in Pune and he stays alone there in Nagar. In case when he really needs anyone there is actually no one with him.
But he is Baba he never fails. He never had any desire unaccomplished. He is a winner. He has a son Someshwar. He takes care of him. He is always with him like his shadow. A boy working as a driver turned son is someone who now never lets me feel bad for baba not having son.
In the age when own children do not take care of parents. Baba has many who are ready to die for him. Who reach for baba earlier than that we his own daughters reach to him.
He never had property investments. But what he invested is what he has with him with all interests.
Our college had a motto “Not buildings but men …. I dare you.” Dad did it. He built many lives. He has his emotional shelter now. He has his biggest family which his real son might have failed to get for him and which he has now.
After we got that letter the circumstances never changed. Rather baba’s love went on increasing for all the three of us. His blessings for us increased and increased.....................
It was Diwali time and we all were cleaning house together. Ohh!!! that was something I always hated and baba always wanted me to learn. Thank god I have my elder sisters playing role of savior in every trouble of mine.
Cleaning time was the biggest trouble. Cleaning house was not at all my part of interest.
I recall my school teacher complaining my sister that I was laziest girl she had ever seen. And truly I was rather I am lazy regarding many things.
There were 3 trunks in the house. Those were army trunks heavy and big in size. Trunks were dumping zones of house. One of them was for old sweaters and old clothes, one was certificate bag containing old certificates and one was for old letters, unwanted papers and what not.
I was cleaning the trunk of old letters. Those were letters in Kannada so baba was not worried about what if I read them. I was trying to read sender’s name and receiver’s name from the letters as that was the only data in English. Receiver of every letter was no one else than Baba. And senders were my uncles, grandfather, and most of our relatives, my mother, and baba’s friends.
I found the only letter written in Marathi. This letter was written by Baba but it was not posted. It was dated 5th December 1982 that is next day of my sister’s birth. It was addressed to baba’s uncle. Content was strange. It was saying “God again gave me one more daughter. I really don’t know when the cycle will end .and so on…. “Data was surprising. He was not happy to have daughter and that to the daughter whom he loves a lot. The girl who is heart of baba.
I gave the letter to my sister. She saw the letter. And went in the hall. Baba was busy cleaning the cupboards. She just gave that to him and asked him to read the letter.
He sat in the chair in his typical style and then read the letter. He laughed but my sister was angry that he wrote the letter after she was born.
He smiled at her and said “Now I regret for writing this. Don’t pay attention to this. I love you a lot. I did not know you are going to be my son.”
That was a small incident. Reader will think what is so special about this. Baba always loved us. We all love him. But I feel bad and feel truly that he should have had a son. Now we three are in Pune and he stays alone there in Nagar. In case when he really needs anyone there is actually no one with him.
But he is Baba he never fails. He never had any desire unaccomplished. He is a winner. He has a son Someshwar. He takes care of him. He is always with him like his shadow. A boy working as a driver turned son is someone who now never lets me feel bad for baba not having son.
In the age when own children do not take care of parents. Baba has many who are ready to die for him. Who reach for baba earlier than that we his own daughters reach to him.
He never had property investments. But what he invested is what he has with him with all interests.
Our college had a motto “Not buildings but men …. I dare you.” Dad did it. He built many lives. He has his emotional shelter now. He has his biggest family which his real son might have failed to get for him and which he has now.
After we got that letter the circumstances never changed. Rather baba’s love went on increasing for all the three of us. His blessings for us increased and increased.....................
Thursday, December 3, 2009
BABA - III ( Fear And BABA )
I consider myself damn lucky because I got maximum time to spend with BABA. I got chance to be his friend to whom he used to tell many small and funny stories of his childhood. This is one of them.
My elder sister Dr. Tejshri was studying Human Anatomy those days. She got a skeleton at home. I used to enjoy playing with the bones. Keeping the skull at the center and saying “ Bhag bhuge bhageshwari bhat swaha “ types stupid mantras.
My cousin used to stay with us. We are of same age. We were studying in same school just different divisions. He always used to get scared of the horror stuff. The day when my sister got skeleton set home he saw that but did not touch any of the bones in the bag.
There was a ground at the back side of our building and that was bit scary those days.
There were no buildings round the ground those days, only street light was there and the light of that street light was not enough to reduce the fear in the air round the ground.
As I spent my childhood in the same flat and the balcony opening at the ground end I never felt scary there. But my brother was always scared to be in the balcony or on the balcony side in the evening time.
I was always a naughty girl in my childhood and still I am.
I don’t recall who was there in the hall but some guests had come. I went to balcony to water plants. That time the cleaning duster fell down from balcony. I asked my cousin to go and get that. Initially he refused and then to take break from studies he went downstairs.
“Mere dimag mein shitan jag gaya” I went in the room and got the Skull with one bone. I switched off all the lights. I went in the balcony and held the Skull and as he came exactly near duster. I held the skull outside the balcony and laughed weirdly “ha ha ha ha ha” .My brother got scared and ran saying “ aai ga melo melo melo “
He came running upstairs. He was shivering with fear. BABA saw him scared and crying.
He complained about my stupidity to BABA. BABA got so very angry.
My bad time was going on. That time BABA was playing with a window stopper made of Stone .He came holding that in hand. I was sitting in the balcony holding a book in hand and pretending as if nothing has happened.
He came and shouted loudly. That was the first time BABA shouted at me. He came to beat me. Thank goddess Dr Tejshri . She came and shouted at my brother saying don’t make issue . Can’t he be brave? BABA just couldn’t control his anger said “ Hila akkal nahi ahe ajibat . Murkha. “
I got so angry with BABA that I decided not to talk to him ever after. At night he came to me.I was sleeping. I tried to convey my anger through my different postures.
BABA said” Rupsha ase ghabravayache nahi . Tyache ithe koni nahi ahe ki nahi ?“
I was feeling “ Tyache ithe sagale ahet mazech koni nahi ahe “ but I could not express that.
He told me the reason why he got angry. He was child of 9 or 10. Early morning he used to go to station and then catch train to go to school. He used to leave his place at 5 in the morning and go by walk to station.
One day when he was going to station he saw a woman wearing white sari and walking round a banyan tree. He saw her and he got scared. He ran back to home. Next 7 days he caught fever and what not.
He said “Just because I have experienced the fear. That lady might not be a ghost but she scared me. I fell ill for so many days. Still when I pass by that tree in my town I feel that fear “
That was funny to hear an iron man got scared and still gets scared of his childhood imaginations. But yes that day I decided not to scarify someone and not to play with fear.
My elder sister Dr. Tejshri was studying Human Anatomy those days. She got a skeleton at home. I used to enjoy playing with the bones. Keeping the skull at the center and saying “ Bhag bhuge bhageshwari bhat swaha “ types stupid mantras.
My cousin used to stay with us. We are of same age. We were studying in same school just different divisions. He always used to get scared of the horror stuff. The day when my sister got skeleton set home he saw that but did not touch any of the bones in the bag.
There was a ground at the back side of our building and that was bit scary those days.
There were no buildings round the ground those days, only street light was there and the light of that street light was not enough to reduce the fear in the air round the ground.
As I spent my childhood in the same flat and the balcony opening at the ground end I never felt scary there. But my brother was always scared to be in the balcony or on the balcony side in the evening time.
I was always a naughty girl in my childhood and still I am.
I don’t recall who was there in the hall but some guests had come. I went to balcony to water plants. That time the cleaning duster fell down from balcony. I asked my cousin to go and get that. Initially he refused and then to take break from studies he went downstairs.
“Mere dimag mein shitan jag gaya” I went in the room and got the Skull with one bone. I switched off all the lights. I went in the balcony and held the Skull and as he came exactly near duster. I held the skull outside the balcony and laughed weirdly “ha ha ha ha ha” .My brother got scared and ran saying “ aai ga melo melo melo “
He came running upstairs. He was shivering with fear. BABA saw him scared and crying.
He complained about my stupidity to BABA. BABA got so very angry.
My bad time was going on. That time BABA was playing with a window stopper made of Stone .He came holding that in hand. I was sitting in the balcony holding a book in hand and pretending as if nothing has happened.
He came and shouted loudly. That was the first time BABA shouted at me. He came to beat me. Thank goddess Dr Tejshri . She came and shouted at my brother saying don’t make issue . Can’t he be brave? BABA just couldn’t control his anger said “ Hila akkal nahi ahe ajibat . Murkha. “
I got so angry with BABA that I decided not to talk to him ever after. At night he came to me.I was sleeping. I tried to convey my anger through my different postures.
BABA said” Rupsha ase ghabravayache nahi . Tyache ithe koni nahi ahe ki nahi ?“
I was feeling “ Tyache ithe sagale ahet mazech koni nahi ahe “ but I could not express that.
He told me the reason why he got angry. He was child of 9 or 10. Early morning he used to go to station and then catch train to go to school. He used to leave his place at 5 in the morning and go by walk to station.
One day when he was going to station he saw a woman wearing white sari and walking round a banyan tree. He saw her and he got scared. He ran back to home. Next 7 days he caught fever and what not.
He said “Just because I have experienced the fear. That lady might not be a ghost but she scared me. I fell ill for so many days. Still when I pass by that tree in my town I feel that fear “
That was funny to hear an iron man got scared and still gets scared of his childhood imaginations. But yes that day I decided not to scarify someone and not to play with fear.
BABA - II
“What your mother does????”........ “She passed away when I was 7” .........
This is a usual conversation when I meet someone for the first time. “Oh!! I am sorry” is usual reaction from the person asking me about my mother. But I really don’t feel sorry about losing my mother.
It was something which gave me a FATHER with Mother’s heart.
The story narrates the reason.
It was when I was in std V . My unit tests were going on.
I had learnt a new stuff on that day. If someone asks you “ Kasa gela paper? “ just say “Gatthyat bandhun surakshit “ or “ Kaala nila houn” .The whole day all friends of mine were trying the thing on each other.
I caught the answers and came back home. BABA came back home from office. I was sitting in the bedroom holding book for the next day’s paper in hand and looking out of the window. BABA stepped in the room and asked me about the paper. “ Kasa gela mag paper ? “ I had a new answer than everyday’s answers and I said “Gatthyat bandhun surakshit “ and“ Kala nila houn”. BABA was hurt somewhere. That was the first time he approached and asked me something about exams and I said it foolishly.
He said nothing. He went to window and stood there calmly. It was something I had never seen before. BABA was calm. He did not scold. He said nothing and I myself realized something. But my ego did not let me say sorry .I just looked at him, opened my book and started looking at BABA standing near window.
He just kept quiet. My elder sister whom I call Didi came to me and made me say sorry to BABA. I said “ Sorry BABA ase nahi mhanar me parat kaddhich “ .
Baba smiled and we had dinner happily that night. When I went to sleep he just came to me and said “Rupsha ( he calls me so) ase mothyanshi naste bolayache.Mitranshi thik ahe” .
I still remember the mix fruit juice he got for me that night and we had that together.
What if my mother were alive ? I guess she would have at least slapped me. But BABA did not rather he never.
The way he conveyed the stuff was in his own way and I learned……
This is a usual conversation when I meet someone for the first time. “Oh!! I am sorry” is usual reaction from the person asking me about my mother. But I really don’t feel sorry about losing my mother.
It was something which gave me a FATHER with Mother’s heart.
The story narrates the reason.
It was when I was in std V . My unit tests were going on.
I had learnt a new stuff on that day. If someone asks you “ Kasa gela paper? “ just say “Gatthyat bandhun surakshit “ or “ Kaala nila houn” .The whole day all friends of mine were trying the thing on each other.
I caught the answers and came back home. BABA came back home from office. I was sitting in the bedroom holding book for the next day’s paper in hand and looking out of the window. BABA stepped in the room and asked me about the paper. “ Kasa gela mag paper ? “ I had a new answer than everyday’s answers and I said “Gatthyat bandhun surakshit “ and“ Kala nila houn”. BABA was hurt somewhere. That was the first time he approached and asked me something about exams and I said it foolishly.
He said nothing. He went to window and stood there calmly. It was something I had never seen before. BABA was calm. He did not scold. He said nothing and I myself realized something. But my ego did not let me say sorry .I just looked at him, opened my book and started looking at BABA standing near window.
He just kept quiet. My elder sister whom I call Didi came to me and made me say sorry to BABA. I said “ Sorry BABA ase nahi mhanar me parat kaddhich “ .
Baba smiled and we had dinner happily that night. When I went to sleep he just came to me and said “Rupsha ( he calls me so) ase mothyanshi naste bolayache.Mitranshi thik ahe” .
I still remember the mix fruit juice he got for me that night and we had that together.
What if my mother were alive ? I guess she would have at least slapped me. But BABA did not rather he never.
The way he conveyed the stuff was in his own way and I learned……
BABA - I
These are the stories I always wrote but could never let anyone read.
They are about my father and me.
The relation we shared ......
The memories which I always wanted to share ....................
The Stories will be posted in a series. This is the very first memory I have about my father.... BABA
“ Zop Meena zop. Khup keles saglyansathi. Ata shanta zop”. Baba was moving his hand over my Aai’s face. My Aaji was holding her Sari in mouth and was trying to consol Baba. My sisters were crying helplessly. I was sitting on the bed. My legs were shivering and I was scared to see a dead body for the very first time in my life and that was my mother.
The first memory about BABA in my life is the dawn of 29th October 1993 – My Mum’s death day. My mother passed away due to Cancer and I was the girl of 7. I did not understand the things going round me and it was tough to see everyone crying and the helpless emotions on their face.
I recall BABA on that day. He cried a lot He cried on the shoulders of his General Manager who came to meet him and console him in the evening.
It is not a good one but a memory about my BABA. This is very first memory about BABA. As if I had never seen him before as my BABA. Because he was running from one hospital to another. Trying in all possible ways to save his soul mate “My Mother”. He was never home and whenever he was home he was busy solving the financial and family problems raised in his absence.
I remember the moment when he hugged my sisters and me. Crying like anything.... before my mother’s funeral and that was his first touch which I remember clearly.
Beginning with a sad story is really not an intension here. That was his first touch which I recall. The touch was full of warmth, love, helpless feeling, and feeling of strength he had. The strength of his decision of being both - “ a mother and a father “ . The strength of feeling of losing someone still deciding to keep her alive in his memories and in the sanskar he gave us. That touch told me everything and anything will be there for me hereafter till BABA is there.
They are about my father and me.
The relation we shared ......
The memories which I always wanted to share ....................
The Stories will be posted in a series. This is the very first memory I have about my father.... BABA
“ Zop Meena zop. Khup keles saglyansathi. Ata shanta zop”. Baba was moving his hand over my Aai’s face. My Aaji was holding her Sari in mouth and was trying to consol Baba. My sisters were crying helplessly. I was sitting on the bed. My legs were shivering and I was scared to see a dead body for the very first time in my life and that was my mother.
The first memory about BABA in my life is the dawn of 29th October 1993 – My Mum’s death day. My mother passed away due to Cancer and I was the girl of 7. I did not understand the things going round me and it was tough to see everyone crying and the helpless emotions on their face.
I recall BABA on that day. He cried a lot He cried on the shoulders of his General Manager who came to meet him and console him in the evening.
It is not a good one but a memory about my BABA. This is very first memory about BABA. As if I had never seen him before as my BABA. Because he was running from one hospital to another. Trying in all possible ways to save his soul mate “My Mother”. He was never home and whenever he was home he was busy solving the financial and family problems raised in his absence.
I remember the moment when he hugged my sisters and me. Crying like anything.... before my mother’s funeral and that was his first touch which I remember clearly.
Beginning with a sad story is really not an intension here. That was his first touch which I recall. The touch was full of warmth, love, helpless feeling, and feeling of strength he had. The strength of his decision of being both - “ a mother and a father “ . The strength of feeling of losing someone still deciding to keep her alive in his memories and in the sanskar he gave us. That touch told me everything and anything will be there for me hereafter till BABA is there.
कातरवेळ
आयुष्य झर्रकन पुढे सरकत जाते ,
काही चूक काही बरोबर गोष्टींना सोबत घेउनच .
जमा खर्चाची वही महिना अखेरिला उघडते ,
आणि कमावल्या गमवाल्याचा हिशोब आयुष्याच्या अखेरिला !!!
अचानक एका कातरवेळी आठवतो भूतकाळ ,
ज्याच्या नावातच भूत आहे त्याच्या आठवण येण्याने दचकणं हे ओघानेच आले!!!!!
गमावले जास्त आणि कमावले कमी असे उगाचच वाटायला लागते ,
जुनं पुराणं सारे काही मागणे मागायला लागते!!!!!
दाटून येते मळभ मनावर, इतके की जणू बरसणार धारा डोळ्यांतुन असे वाटायला लागते ,
इतक्यात दिवेलागण होते आणि तिन्हीसांजा रडू नये हा संस्कार आडवा येतो ||
दाटलेले मळभ, पिन्जलेल्या कापसाला डब्यात बंद करून ठेवावे तसे मनाच्या कप्प्यात बंद होते ,
वाट पाहत राहते .........पुन्हा एका कातरवेळेची ,
दाटून यायला आणि बरसून वहायला !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- रुपाली
काही चूक काही बरोबर गोष्टींना सोबत घेउनच .
जमा खर्चाची वही महिना अखेरिला उघडते ,
आणि कमावल्या गमवाल्याचा हिशोब आयुष्याच्या अखेरिला !!!
अचानक एका कातरवेळी आठवतो भूतकाळ ,
ज्याच्या नावातच भूत आहे त्याच्या आठवण येण्याने दचकणं हे ओघानेच आले!!!!!
गमावले जास्त आणि कमावले कमी असे उगाचच वाटायला लागते ,
जुनं पुराणं सारे काही मागणे मागायला लागते!!!!!
दाटून येते मळभ मनावर, इतके की जणू बरसणार धारा डोळ्यांतुन असे वाटायला लागते ,
इतक्यात दिवेलागण होते आणि तिन्हीसांजा रडू नये हा संस्कार आडवा येतो ||
दाटलेले मळभ, पिन्जलेल्या कापसाला डब्यात बंद करून ठेवावे तसे मनाच्या कप्प्यात बंद होते ,
वाट पाहत राहते .........पुन्हा एका कातरवेळेची ,
दाटून यायला आणि बरसून वहायला !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- रुपाली
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
How do you talk to yourself
Something I liked to read.....
How do you talk to yourself?
Is your inner voice nice or mean? Do you constantly put yourself down and call yourself names, or do you communicate positively with yourself and affirm your self worth on a regular basis?
Self esteem is a fragile thing. We all have areas of our lives we can't seem to get a handle on - relationships, holding down a job, giving presentations, irrational fear of flying - and often we don't realize that a wonky internal dialog may be to blame.
Next time you start to feel anxious, unhappy or overwhelmed, listen to yourself. What is your inner voice saying? It might surprise you to hear a panicked screeching coming from the dark recesses of your brain:
"Oh no! I'm going to be late! I'm always late, I can never find my earrings, I'm such an idiot, why am I such a slob, I can never find anything, the whole day is shot now, I can't cope, I am a failure...'
Whoa! There's a lot of stuff in there that just flat out isn't true, and the fact that you are heaping abuse on yourself isn't helping you be any less stressed or move any faster. Ever see those movies where the hero goes to boot camp and the drill sergeant constantly screams at the new recruits? Well, that may work for preparing men for battle - but for preparing yourself for the boardroom, it's a little over the top.
Take a second to breathe, and imagine a drill sergeant standing in your dressing room screaming at you. Think that;'s ridiculous? It's what you were doing to yourself just a minute ago. Take a look at what was coming out of your inner drill sergeant's mouth, and realize how absurd it is:
'Oh, no! I'm going to be late!' This is really the only true statement in the whole string of invective you just subjected yourself to. Set it aside with a note to come back to it.
'I'm always late.' Unless you have some sort of perverse desire to keep the people in your life waiting, this is almost certainly not true. Think back and disprove this statement with at least one example of a time when you were not late.
'I can never find my earrings'. Really? Never? Think back and disprove this statement with at least one example of a time when you wore both earrings.
'I'm such an idiot'. Please. you are about to get in a car, find your way to another location, and give a presentation. Not exactly something an idiot could do.
'Why am I such a slob'. OK, maybe there is a kernel of truth in this one - or maybe you are overreacting to stress. If you are really a slob, it is a fixable condition - take a note, shelve the issue and deal with it when you aren't running out the door.
'I can never find anything'. Again. Think back and disprove this statement with at least one example of a time when you found anything, anything at all.
'The whole day is shot now'. Seriously? You are going to let an earring ruin your day? Sorry, doesn't qualify. A vehicular accident, a tornado, the loss of a limb is definitely a day-ruiner - not a missing earring. Priorities, please!
'I can't cope'. Well, there's the kicker. Crawl back in bed and curl into fetal position. Come on! You've made it this far. Deal. pick another set of earrings, or go bare-eared - it's not the end of the world.
'I am a failure'. How did this whole episode get started? You couldn't find an earring. If that makes you a failure, you are probably in good company - I'm sure plenty of people of note have been unable to find an earring at one point or another.
The only real issue here is the possibility you might be late - and in the grand scheme of things, this is really a non-issue. A week from now you won't even remember you were late. Communicate this to yourself to drown out mister drill sergeant in the corner, and affirm what you now know to be true.
"I may be late (but in a week I will have forgotten the momentary unpleasantness of that fact). I am not always late. Most of the time I can find my earrings. I am a smart person, not an idiot, I can be a neat person, not a slob, and I know where most of my belongings in the house are. Today will be a good day despite a slight tardiness issue, I can cope and I am a successful person."
Feel better? Self affirmation is a wonderful thing. Tell the drill sergeant he can go home - you won't be needing him anymore.
How do you talk to yourself?
Is your inner voice nice or mean? Do you constantly put yourself down and call yourself names, or do you communicate positively with yourself and affirm your self worth on a regular basis?
Self esteem is a fragile thing. We all have areas of our lives we can't seem to get a handle on - relationships, holding down a job, giving presentations, irrational fear of flying - and often we don't realize that a wonky internal dialog may be to blame.
Next time you start to feel anxious, unhappy or overwhelmed, listen to yourself. What is your inner voice saying? It might surprise you to hear a panicked screeching coming from the dark recesses of your brain:
"Oh no! I'm going to be late! I'm always late, I can never find my earrings, I'm such an idiot, why am I such a slob, I can never find anything, the whole day is shot now, I can't cope, I am a failure...'
Whoa! There's a lot of stuff in there that just flat out isn't true, and the fact that you are heaping abuse on yourself isn't helping you be any less stressed or move any faster. Ever see those movies where the hero goes to boot camp and the drill sergeant constantly screams at the new recruits? Well, that may work for preparing men for battle - but for preparing yourself for the boardroom, it's a little over the top.
Take a second to breathe, and imagine a drill sergeant standing in your dressing room screaming at you. Think that;'s ridiculous? It's what you were doing to yourself just a minute ago. Take a look at what was coming out of your inner drill sergeant's mouth, and realize how absurd it is:
'Oh, no! I'm going to be late!' This is really the only true statement in the whole string of invective you just subjected yourself to. Set it aside with a note to come back to it.
'I'm always late.' Unless you have some sort of perverse desire to keep the people in your life waiting, this is almost certainly not true. Think back and disprove this statement with at least one example of a time when you were not late.
'I can never find my earrings'. Really? Never? Think back and disprove this statement with at least one example of a time when you wore both earrings.
'I'm such an idiot'. Please. you are about to get in a car, find your way to another location, and give a presentation. Not exactly something an idiot could do.
'Why am I such a slob'. OK, maybe there is a kernel of truth in this one - or maybe you are overreacting to stress. If you are really a slob, it is a fixable condition - take a note, shelve the issue and deal with it when you aren't running out the door.
'I can never find anything'. Again. Think back and disprove this statement with at least one example of a time when you found anything, anything at all.
'The whole day is shot now'. Seriously? You are going to let an earring ruin your day? Sorry, doesn't qualify. A vehicular accident, a tornado, the loss of a limb is definitely a day-ruiner - not a missing earring. Priorities, please!
'I can't cope'. Well, there's the kicker. Crawl back in bed and curl into fetal position. Come on! You've made it this far. Deal. pick another set of earrings, or go bare-eared - it's not the end of the world.
'I am a failure'. How did this whole episode get started? You couldn't find an earring. If that makes you a failure, you are probably in good company - I'm sure plenty of people of note have been unable to find an earring at one point or another.
The only real issue here is the possibility you might be late - and in the grand scheme of things, this is really a non-issue. A week from now you won't even remember you were late. Communicate this to yourself to drown out mister drill sergeant in the corner, and affirm what you now know to be true.
"I may be late (but in a week I will have forgotten the momentary unpleasantness of that fact). I am not always late. Most of the time I can find my earrings. I am a smart person, not an idiot, I can be a neat person, not a slob, and I know where most of my belongings in the house are. Today will be a good day despite a slight tardiness issue, I can cope and I am a successful person."
Feel better? Self affirmation is a wonderful thing. Tell the drill sergeant he can go home - you won't be needing him anymore.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Catch a flirt
Something I liked to read.....
A remarkable amount of people have no idea when the opposite sex/ same sex is flirting with them. Some people mistake someone who is flirting with them as just being friendly.
Here I've composed a list of signs that indicate when someone is flirting with you, so no more wondering whether they are just being nice to you, or whether they just like you as a friend.
1. Eye contact
Eye contact managed over 5 seconds or more is very abnormal between just friends, however this is not unusual between two people who are in a relationship.
When your eyes meet, if someone likes you, he tends to hold eye contact with you longer than what he would with someone who he classifies as just a friend. Once he has held eye contact with you, he will look back at you; people tend to look away as it can make you and the other person feel uncomfortable, so usually there is a small break in between holding eye contact
2.
They are exceptionally nice to you: they compliment you a lot and will help you out if you ever need assistance with anything.
3. Body posture.
A fair amount of guys stiffen their posture when they like the opposite sex, this is often to affirm his manliness and to look his best in front of you.
4. Leaning in
Another way to find out someone is flirting with you is if they lean in towards you when you are having a conversation, talking, this shows they wants to get close to you, and want to connect with you, by leaning in its more personal and intimate then if you to sit at the other side of the room talking to one another.
5.
They make an effort to keep the conversation going as long as possible.
When you like someone you usually try your hardest to keep the conversation going unless you are really shy, if someone likes you they might ask you a lot of questions and keep using various tactics to keep the conversation alive.
6.Physical contact.
When you like someone you like to have physical contact with them, however don't mistake touchy feely people as been attracted to you, some people just like touching people when they speak to them, So how do you know if they are flirting with you when they touch you or if their doing it with no intentions to make you think they are flirting with you?
If you frequently find that they tend to brush past you when they are nearby it is quite probable that is isn't done accidental, if its only happened once or twice then it probably doesn't mean anything, but if this person keeps doing it then that may be doing it because they want to have physical contact with you and get your attention.
There are several signs that a person is flirting with you, most of us have our own little ways of flirting with someone we like but we often use some of the obvious flirting techniques that are written in this article, the most obvious sign a person is flirting with you is holding eye contact, because you're not going to want to hold eye contact with your best friend for a much longer period of time unless you really like them.
A remarkable amount of people have no idea when the opposite sex/ same sex is flirting with them. Some people mistake someone who is flirting with them as just being friendly.
Here I've composed a list of signs that indicate when someone is flirting with you, so no more wondering whether they are just being nice to you, or whether they just like you as a friend.
1. Eye contact
Eye contact managed over 5 seconds or more is very abnormal between just friends, however this is not unusual between two people who are in a relationship.
When your eyes meet, if someone likes you, he tends to hold eye contact with you longer than what he would with someone who he classifies as just a friend. Once he has held eye contact with you, he will look back at you; people tend to look away as it can make you and the other person feel uncomfortable, so usually there is a small break in between holding eye contact
2.
They are exceptionally nice to you: they compliment you a lot and will help you out if you ever need assistance with anything.
3. Body posture.
A fair amount of guys stiffen their posture when they like the opposite sex, this is often to affirm his manliness and to look his best in front of you.
4. Leaning in
Another way to find out someone is flirting with you is if they lean in towards you when you are having a conversation, talking, this shows they wants to get close to you, and want to connect with you, by leaning in its more personal and intimate then if you to sit at the other side of the room talking to one another.
5.
They make an effort to keep the conversation going as long as possible.
When you like someone you usually try your hardest to keep the conversation going unless you are really shy, if someone likes you they might ask you a lot of questions and keep using various tactics to keep the conversation alive.
6.Physical contact.
When you like someone you like to have physical contact with them, however don't mistake touchy feely people as been attracted to you, some people just like touching people when they speak to them, So how do you know if they are flirting with you when they touch you or if their doing it with no intentions to make you think they are flirting with you?
If you frequently find that they tend to brush past you when they are nearby it is quite probable that is isn't done accidental, if its only happened once or twice then it probably doesn't mean anything, but if this person keeps doing it then that may be doing it because they want to have physical contact with you and get your attention.
There are several signs that a person is flirting with you, most of us have our own little ways of flirting with someone we like but we often use some of the obvious flirting techniques that are written in this article, the most obvious sign a person is flirting with you is holding eye contact, because you're not going to want to hold eye contact with your best friend for a much longer period of time unless you really like them.
Catch a lier
Something I liked to read.....
Everyone has been lied to at one time or another. We've all encountered a person who lies all the time. But how do you know someone is lying to you. It's not always easy to tell. But there are few things that frequently give a liar away.
Keeping it Together-
If a person is a habitual liar, they might have trouble keeping the story straight. When someone lies a lot they are likely to mix up stories and botch answers. So, listen very carefully when you think you're being lied to. It's a good idea to ask questions more than once. If you keep getting a similar yet different answer. Chances are, you're being lied to.
Eye Contact-
If someone isn't a very good liar, they probably will have trouble maintaining eye contact with you while they're fibbing. But someone who is a good liar will have this skill down. Eye contact isn't always the best indicator of lying. If it's someone you know well and the behavior is different, you might have been lied to.
Fidgeting-
A lot of times, a liar will fidget around with their clothes and hair. They might not be able to sit still while they're telling you stories. Now, of course, some people are natural fidgeters. So it doesn't always apply. But if the person normally isn't the sort to wiggle around while they're talking to you and suddenly they are, be leery. They might be telling you something untrue.
Tone of Voice-
Sometimes a person's tone of voice will change when they are lying. Listen for changes in pitch when you believe someone isn't telling you the truth. It could indicate a big fat lie is crossing their lips. This is, of course easiest done with someone you know fairly well. But if you notice a change in pitch or how they are pronouncing their words, it could clue you into a lie.
Hesitation-
If a person avoids your questions or takes a long time to answer a simple question, this might be telling. The reason they hesitate is because they are thinking back on what they said earlier. They might be trying to switch up a story, too. So, if you're asking questions at a normal pace, if you aren't asking rapid fire questions and the person seems to be taking an unusual length of time to speak, they could very well be lying to you.
In the End-
If you are being lied to continually by someone in your life, it's time to reassess your relationship. Healthy relationships don't include habitual lying. If someone is lying to you about big things, that's a red light. It might be time to end it. No one deserves to be lied to.
Reference: www.helium.com
Everyone has been lied to at one time or another. We've all encountered a person who lies all the time. But how do you know someone is lying to you. It's not always easy to tell. But there are few things that frequently give a liar away.
Keeping it Together-
If a person is a habitual liar, they might have trouble keeping the story straight. When someone lies a lot they are likely to mix up stories and botch answers. So, listen very carefully when you think you're being lied to. It's a good idea to ask questions more than once. If you keep getting a similar yet different answer. Chances are, you're being lied to.
Eye Contact-
If someone isn't a very good liar, they probably will have trouble maintaining eye contact with you while they're fibbing. But someone who is a good liar will have this skill down. Eye contact isn't always the best indicator of lying. If it's someone you know well and the behavior is different, you might have been lied to.
Fidgeting-
A lot of times, a liar will fidget around with their clothes and hair. They might not be able to sit still while they're telling you stories. Now, of course, some people are natural fidgeters. So it doesn't always apply. But if the person normally isn't the sort to wiggle around while they're talking to you and suddenly they are, be leery. They might be telling you something untrue.
Tone of Voice-
Sometimes a person's tone of voice will change when they are lying. Listen for changes in pitch when you believe someone isn't telling you the truth. It could indicate a big fat lie is crossing their lips. This is, of course easiest done with someone you know fairly well. But if you notice a change in pitch or how they are pronouncing their words, it could clue you into a lie.
Hesitation-
If a person avoids your questions or takes a long time to answer a simple question, this might be telling. The reason they hesitate is because they are thinking back on what they said earlier. They might be trying to switch up a story, too. So, if you're asking questions at a normal pace, if you aren't asking rapid fire questions and the person seems to be taking an unusual length of time to speak, they could very well be lying to you.
In the End-
If you are being lied to continually by someone in your life, it's time to reassess your relationship. Healthy relationships don't include habitual lying. If someone is lying to you about big things, that's a red light. It might be time to end it. No one deserves to be lied to.
Reference: www.helium.com
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